Travel Transition Truth Part 3

Part 3: Truth

"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them." -Galileo Galilei

This is by far the hardest of the three in this series of blogs to write.  The truth is, being honest and truthful can be really hard.  It's not because I have anything to hide, but more so because my truth is constantly changing.  I am still growing and evolving into the person I have been created to be and each time I think I have myself figured out, I discover something else.   

In the past few weeks since my last blog, I have faced some hard truths.  Some have been tougher pills to swallow than others and I know it is because I often let my pride get in the way.  But, I have also learned that by taking a step back, reflecting, and being really honest with myself, I can gain something postive from each of those situations.

One of my "here's your sign" moments came during a long run and then again the day after.  As I had mentioned in my last blog, I am preparing to run a marathon in 2017.  I have been training for about a month with the expectation that I would run the marathon at the beginning of April. The training plan began around the the first week of November and thought that would give me plenty of time to work up to a marathon distance.  I knew this was going to be a goal that wouldn't be easy and I actually welcomed that.  I like working toward things that seem just out of reach because it makes the want to accomplish it that much more of a need.  What I didn't take into consideration is that although I am not new to running, (I've ran several distances including a half marathon in this year alone) I have not been consistant with it.  So as I began long run days that were becoming two hour runs instead of hour long runs, my brain, my body, and my will just wasn't ready.  After being more sore than I would like to be after days that were supposed to be "easy", I realized I needed to take a step back and reassess.

My initial thoughts were that of defeat.  I was upset that I was letting myself down as well as others.  After all, I had just announced to the world/those that read this blog that I would be running this marathon and now it was beginning to look and feel like I wouldn't.  After some anger, tears, and a pity party, I allowed myself to become much more realistic about the goal I had set for myself.  I had to remind myself that I still had plenty of time to train for a marathon and to run one in this next year.  I just needed to take it slow.  Instead of running a full in April, it was decided that I would run a half instead and from there continue my training till October where I will run the full 26.2 miles.  I find out in about a week if I got picked for the Chicago Marathon Lottery which takes place mid October and at the perfect time in my new training plan.  I have also faced the reality that I may not get picked for the race so I have found another one that I will do instead so that I stay encouraged to continue working toward this goal I have set for myself.

The truth is, running can be hard and running a full marathon can be harder but knowing one's limits and enjoying the journey makes the struggle worth it. 

Another truth about myself that became apparent in the past few weeks is one of my biggest faults.  It is the want and often times the need to be right.  I am not the only person in the world that struggles with this.  I know because often times the people I find myself wanting to be right around are the people that have the same want and need.  Depending on the person and the topic being discussed will determine how persistant I am about getting to an end result where my truth is THE TRUTH.  Often times it is over trivial things, which makes this fault so much worse.  I have a need to be right about things like who used a camp vehicle last and didn't put gas in it, where to find something in the grocery store, or telling someone what time they sent a response text and why it didn't make sense.  This actually happened a couple of days ago and sent me into more of a tizy than it should have.  This fault has become something of a burden for me.  I have found that I have been letting it get in the way of some of my friendships.  I hope and pray that my friends have not felt this burden like I do.  It just isn't worth it.  I care so much more about them than I care about being right and I have found it very life giving to admit to myself and aloud when I am wrong.  It not only humbles me in those relationships, but it gives credit where it is due.

The truth is, the need to be right isn't what is important.  The relationships that you can trust to have those arguments with are.

In my last blog, I jokingly mentioned that I see myself going through some early midlife crisis due to some new thoughts or actions that have crept up on me in the past few months.  I am still wearing a ton of flannel instead of the cardigan that you would have seen me in earlier in the year.  I am still contemplating a nose piercing even though I will most likely never follow through.  And, the desire to get out and see the world continues to grow stronger by the day.  In this time, I have found that I don't need to get things right the first time and I dont need to be right every time.  I will continue to struggle and in that struggle there will be growth.                                                    
                                                                                                               
Because the truth is, life is a blessing--full of discoveries.  And, what we make of it is the best gift we can give ourselves.

Travel Transition Truth Part 2

Part 2: Transition

So the cat is out of the bag.  If any of you have seen this post from a few weeks ago, you will have known that I accidently outed myself about the big challenge that I planned to take on.

I have decided to do a marathon.  Ahhh!  What have I gotten myself into?!  Seriously!

I have hinted at it a few times in the past few postings so it won't come as a surprise for those that read this that I am in a transition time in my life.  Not the transition like changing jobs, finding a new place to live, or seeking out different social outlets, but a transition of feeling and figuring out who I am.  I am in my thirties and I still find myself trying to understand my place in the world.  I've been joking a ton with my closest friends that I think I am going through an early midlife crisis of sorts.

Here are some things I have found myself saying, doing, or considering...

1. Traveling - This isn't much of a shock.  People know I love to travel, but what I have found myself doing is researching out the wazoo about what the next adventure will be.  Besides visiting Europe, other things on the traveling bucket list are visiting all the National Parks, convincing my gal pals to have a long weekend in Marfa, visiting friends at other camps around the country, and the most recent research has been figuring out when, where, and how to see the aurora borealis (Northern Lights) in all their glory.  To prove this sentiment, check out (or don't) my Pinterest page.  It is overwhelming how much I post and share about traveling.

2. Style - Ok. So, my style has changed in the past few months.  I will say that I still consider myself put together, but I have become much more relaxed in what I choose to wear or how I wear it. 

Examples: 

Instead of wearing a scarf or cute shrug of sorts, I have opted for an oversized flannel shirt.  I counted this weekend when I did laundry that I have a total of seven.  SEVEN!  I can't believe I have one for every day of the week.  I don't know anyone else that wears flannel daily except the Brawny Man and I don't have a goal to take his job anytime soon.

I have typically worn simple yet stylish jewelry.  I would say the simple has stayed but I feel how I have worn it has become more eclectic.  There are rings on several fingers, several types of bracelets on at any given time, and I have considered getting a nose piercing.  The fear of the needle is what is currently deterring that decision.

And make-up... There is none unless absolutely needed

Oh. And, Birkenstocks. Yep. Invested in a pair. With no toe loop. You know what that means...socks and sandals in the winter. 😉 Just kidding. But at least it's an option. 

3. Health - I am someone that has always been aware of the need to stay healthy.  However, in the recent months I have found that I LOVE organic foods, working out, and sleeping way more than I ever have before.  The love for organic things I'm sure is all in my head, but ask a few friends from my most recent road trip about the effects of me eating organic things and they will attest to my overall great mood.  My body has a long way to go to show the fruits of this lifestyle change but I have noticed that my overall attitude about life has been much more optimistic as a result of being mindful of these changes.  And this, my friends, is where the idea of a marathon sounded like a good one.

I have inferred that I have found myself happier as a result of some of my health changes and this is true, but this has come from also having found myself in a super low time in my life.  There were lots of little things, nothing worth mentioning, that added up and over time really got me in the pits.  I struggled with finding balance of what I can control and what I can't and it lead me down a path that I knew I needed to try to turn around before going further.

A close friend had mentioned that running a marathon might be a great way to channel some of this energy that I was struggling with.  It would allow me to focus on something that was within my control as well as help me get back on the path of health and fitness.  I was hesitant, but she and I both knew that I'm someone that needs big challenges.  I thrive when I work toward something that seems almost out of reach and when that goal is accomplished, the level of satisfaction and self confidence grows immensely.

So... here I am.  I'm training for my first full marathon that I plan to do in April.  I have also gotten suckered in to signing up for the Chicago Marathon Lottery.  I signed up with three other friends and I know it will be my luck that of the four of us, I will get picked.  I'm in a state of transition, but one that I'm welcoming.  It will be an interesting journey and I can promise that I will have many stories to tell while on this road to something new.

Travel Transition Truth

Part 1: Travel

It's the eve of another jet setting week and I am spending time with a close gal pal who is thankfully giving up some z's to make sure I get to the airport in the morning for my first time journey to the land of the Cornhuskers. 

The past month has been a whirl wind of travel and tomorrow is another day of new adventures.

I don't feel I've had a ton of time to look forward to this trip.  Between work, sleep, and reflecting on my last big adventure, I haven't had the chance to look too far into the future.  Being in the present is something that I have become fully aware of as of late.  I began noticing this mind state while on my adventure west and it became especially apparent in a moment on the trip that I will never forget and have already began to look back on fondly.  Before I divulge I must set the scene...

It's mid October (So, fall.  The best season of the year!) and I had already spent a week on the road with one friend (we'll call him Friend 1) driving to California to pick up another friend (and this one will be Friend 2) from a month long cycling trek from the Canadian boarder to San Francisco.  The three of us have united, spent a few days in the city and head out to spend a solid day in Yosemite National Park.  Flash forward an hour or so since entering the park...

Friend 2: "Let's go on a hike or something.  See the sights..."
Me: "OK!  I'm down!"
Friend 1: "Which hike?"

the three of us looking at a trail map of the park

Friend 2: "This one looks good..."
Me: "OK! I'm down!" (I need a more extensive vocabulary sometimes)
Friend 1: "Y'all have fun.  I'll see y'all when y'all get back."

So the two of us make it to the trail head of the Yosemite Trail to begin what is to be a beautiful sightseeing hike.

The first five minutes of hiking is pleasant.  There's friendly banter between us.  We are waving at hikers as we pass them by and we are looking forward to getting to a particular lookout at the top of this trail.  I'm sweating a bit but that should be expected.  I feel like I'm getting a moderate workout in and at this point the one mile assent seems like an easy enough task.  After all, the trail is considered to be a moderate hike once you get past the beginning.  I keep telling the friend that this is one of the best decisions we've made on the trip.  He seems to agree.  Things are great!

Ten minutes later...

Me: "I HATE YOU!  Why have you done this to me?!"
Friend 2: "What?! What do you mean?  Come on... I bet we only have about 20 more switch backs to do."
Me: "Don't talk to me.  I'm not happy.  This is the WORST decision we have made all trip."
Friend 2: "We can turn around."
Me: "NO! Why would we do that?! We've made it this far.  Just go!"

Around this time it is becoming noticeable that not bringing water might have been a bad idea.  When I saw that the hike was a mile I didn't think much of it.  Actually, I thought, "A mile isn't far, but I don't want to carry any extra weight." 

Big mistake! Turns out not all miles are created equally. Note to self: A mile up is NOT the same as a mile around town.

I'm fine!  I survived thanks to my pal thinking that bringing H2O was a necessity.  We stop for me to take a brief water break when we see a happy couple descending.  A few sips of water in and I'm feeling better about life.  I even say things like, "Ok... so this is actually really great.  This is a fun adventure and I'm glad we are doing this."  My water sharing friend is looking at me a bit skeptically.  So to prove I'm feeling better I turn my attention to the couple coming toward us and in friendly hiker fashion I say, "Not too much further up, huh?" as they are about to pass us.  They stop and ask kindly where we were heading and we told them to the look out.  They look at each other and then back at me and with some hesitation they say that we easily still have another forty-five minutes before getting there and about half of the switch backs still left to go.

Me to Friend: "I HATE YOU!  Why have you done this to me?!  Just go.  I'm right behind you."

I'm so thankful for forgiving friends and tons of patience because about forty-five minutes later (the couple was great at estimating) we made it to one of the most beautiful look-outs.  Some of my favorite pictures of my whole trip were taken in that spot.  Half Dome looks AMAZING at eye level.

There was nothing about that hiking experience that wasn't the epitome of living in the moment.  The challenge, the beauty, and the friendship that got me through that hike was different with every passing minute and every passing switch back, but it made the finish that much more sweet. 

As erratic as my emotions were, it was one of the first times in a really long time that I felt and experienced every moment as it happened.  I was fully aware of each muscle tension, sigh of relief, tear of joy, and smile of those I saw and felt along the way.  My life for a long while has been looking forward and at times so far forward that I have quickly lost sight of the things going on around me that have a huge affect on that future.  Living in the moment is what I needed and is something that I currently need.

I'm in a transition time in my life and through travel, friendships, and this new challenge (which is going well so far), I'm really excited to see what comes of the moments that are taking place NOW.

It's Been Awhile...Trying Something New

I've logged into this blog account for the first time in what has apparently been almost four years. I'm surprised I remember my password. Time is an interesting thing because I can vividly remember my dedication to these entries and penning my last few thoughts. Yet, enough time has gone by that since my last entry I have entered my thirties, seen a ton of the United States (hope to talk about this more in other blogs), we are going into a second presidential election, and I have ran two half marathons along with some smaller races here and there.

Some things have changed and yet many have stayed the same--or visa versa depending on what we are talking about. Life has given me a ton of blessings in the past few years but has also thrown me plenty of curveballs. In the months since the spring there have been epiphanies, affirmations, and struggles that have brought me back to journaling, sitting deep in my thoughts, or sharing a text/dinner/coffee with some of my closest friends and confidantes. And, ultimately, all those things have brought me back here.

In talking to a close friend yesterday, it has been decided that I need a new challenge. I have found that being in my head too much has caused some pain and has had me caught up on things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of things (hate using cliches but this one totally fit).

So...I'm trying something new.

Well...not totally new.

I have accepted the greatest challenge I think I may have ever done for myself. Greater than the year of no soda. Greater than the dedication to blogging. And, even greater/harder than the year of being a vegetarian in Texas. For some, the challenge isn't a challenge at all but a stroll in the park (enter another cliche), but for me, this will require tons of focus, positive self talk, motivation, and good friends along the way.

I'm not quite ready to say what the challenge is, but I have told this same friend that has encouraged me to do this that I would blog about the process--the successes, the failures, and everything in between.  Sorry for the secret. It really isn't one. It's just finding the courage to face the challenge that I have set before myself.

I am entering day two of the goal to work towards and so far, so good.

I invite all that are interested to be part of this journey with me. As time goes by, and with each entry, I'm hoping my confidence grows. And, I have a feeling sooner rather than later, folks will be fully aware of the craziness I have gotten myself into. If I had to predict...it will come out in the first moments of hardship and frustration, which could be on another cliche called the horizon.

Stay tuned.

My Last Lecture: Part 2

Last Lecture

The Things We Learn Inside and Outside of School

I laughed as I wrote this second part of my lecture because I remember hating some of these subjects so much for so many different reasons.  But that hate must have turned to appreciation because I got my degree in Academic Studies with my minor being in Language Arts.  And, then I received my certification in Elementary Education.  Enjoy…

Spelling: Patience Pays Off

I was an AWFUL speller in the beginning stages of my education.  Seriously, it was bad.  I can remember sitting down nightly with one or both of my parents practicing taking a spelling test with the list of words I had been given for that week.  And as frustrating as it was for me to have to do it, I think it was equally as frustrating for them.  Spelling tests started in the first grade and continued through the fifth, so imagine five years worth of schooling being horrible for me when it came time to have to spell anything correctly. And, everyone knows that spelling is involved in every subject so it was a rough set of elementary years for me. 

Thank goodness my parents were patient with me.  They worked with me nightly and didn’t give up even when there were times that I literally walked around the house kicking and screaming because I refused to do it.  Their patience paid off and so did mine because at the end of each week I would make no less than an “A” on almost every test.  And as time went on, spelling eventually clicked for me.  I would almost brag that I’m a fantastic speller.  Catch me on the right day and in the right mood and I may perform like a spelling bee champion.

Patience is a hard thing to learn and sometimes I still struggle with it.  One of my first memories of having to learn this virtue was when my dad would take me fishing.  There was a period of our lives where we were avid anglers and we went out almost every weekend together—one of the joys of living so close to the coast.  It was our father/daughter time and it’s full of fond memories.  I remember baiting the line (or letting my dad do it most of the time), casting it, and waiting.  And, waiting...  And, waiting...  There were times that I didn’t catch anything but also times that I had the big catch of the day.  And when that happened, being patient paid off and it was such a sweet feeling to see the reward.

Lately, being patient has centered around the ins and outs of my life.  Waiting for that hot meal at the end of the day can be hard.  Or, waiting for that perfect someone to come along has been challenging at times.  But this little grasshopper knows that things happen in due time and the outcome is often much more appreciated when you have to wait for it.  Being patient has allowed me to slow down and take in the things around me in the moments that can so easily be overlooked.  And, the biggest lesson that patience has taught me is that it is not all about me.

Writing: Be Creative

As much as I hated spelling, I loved writing!  It seems a little odd that this would be case.  I hated the logistics of writing (spelling) but loved that it allowed me to be creative.  Growing up, I journaled constantly, whether it was in school or on my own in the privacy of my bedroom.  I competed in UIL competitions in the “Ready Writing” event and often placed first or second.  But, my creativity seemed to blossom when I was introduced to many different styles and purposes of writing.  Writing was my outlet.  I found some old journals not too long ago and have had fun reading what I wrote during different times in my life.  It’s amusing to revisit how a seven year old thinks.

Writing allowed me to be creative without always being judged.  And, being creative often times means that one has to allow themselves to be vulnerable at the risk of being judged for it. 

I learned that creative ideas on paper sometimes work out in real life and sometimes they do not!  I experienced this most often in relationships with other people.  In thank you notes you can often be direct and fluffy with your words to make the other person feel great about what they have done for you.  But, if you were to say those things directly to them, it might make for an awkward few moments following.  Or, in the early stages of romance, it’s nice to get “love” notes that elude to how someone feels about you, but if said too early out loud or if the same written sentiments were spoken instead of written, it could change the dynamic of the relationship fairly quickly.  And, although some of the same sentiments aren’t always received well when spoken as they are on paper, at least there was the confidence to say it.

The joy of writing allows someone to formulate their thoughts into the perfect set of words.  It allows them to have a creative outlet that they might not have otherwise.  And, it’s a wonderful way to keep track of memories from the past.

Being creative on paper has allowed me to gain confidence in being creative in my every day life.  There are times that I say or do things that I know create an eye-roll, or some giggles, or a point and laugh, but being vulnerable to that has allowed for moments of fun and goofiness that create memories.  And even if it was dumb in the moment, it often creates laughter for years to come each time it is remembered.

Reading: Read Between the Lines

I didn’t love reading in school.  It wasn’t because I didn’t like to read, because I did.  I grew up going to the library with my mom, who is also an avid reader, and enjoyed spending time with my nose in a book.  I mostly hated reading in school because I hated assigned reading.  It was rare that I was assigned a book that I actually liked and then to be tested over it was the most irritating.

I learned a lot through reading, though.  I learned that words have meaning and meaning helps you pick up on context clues.  And, context clues help you to better understand the content.  And, understanding the content means you have good comprehension skills and then as a result, you learn something because you understand what you are reading.  Once I figured this out, I enjoyed reading even more.  I loved books that communicated other messages—like those about communism, socialism, feminism, etc and how those messages were important for the time in which the book or message was written.  Learning to read between the lines opened up a whole new world of understanding for me.

As I have gotten older, I have realized that often times others can be read much like a book can be read.  I have learned that it’s important to not judge books or people by their covers and that some of the best lessons to be learned are from the book or person that may not have originally interested you. 

Communication is HUGE for me, which is probably why I love to read and be in relationships with people.  Communication happens in both forms but I have grown to understand that unlike books that only communicate using words, people communicate with words and with actions or body language.  And, the majority of the communication that is happening between two people is often nonverbal.  I’ve learned that if I’m just listening to what someone is saying, I’m not always getting the whole message.  I have to read what is happening in between and I have to pay attention to tone, observe body movements and read gestures.  Someone could say they are “fine” when everything about how they said it says they are not. 

I have lost and formed relationships based on communication or the lack of it.  It is always fun when you get to experience relationships forming.  I look back at some of my friendships and I can pin point times in those relationships when I knew that it was growing or had grown.  Most of this came out of the communication with one another and the interactions we had.  Also, hind sight is 20/20 and most relationships that I have been a part of that have fallen apart, I shouldn’t have been surprised about.  I also can pin point times when our communication was lacking or the interactions would have given me a good indication that that was happening.  It’s important to read between the lines to better understand the content and can better comprehend what is going on.

My Last Lecture: Part 1

I’m lucky enough to work in a place that encourages us to create and grow relationships not only with those that we serve but also those that we work with.  We have staff meetings twice a month and during some of that meeting time we get to hear “what’s up” with the people that we work with and what is going on in their lives that is important to them.  We also begin all our meetings with a devotion and this has looked many different ways over the three years that I have been here.  In the spring, we decided to read a book and discuss what elements of that book or story could be related to our lives daily and spiritually.  The book that we chose was The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch.

Several of us had read the book before but it was nice to revisit it.  The plan was to read and discuss the content in relation to us during the spring and then we had the summer to create our own last lecture that we would present to each other during our fall meetings.  We were given a lot of wiggle room and creative space to make this “lecture” what we wanted it to be.  Our only criterion was that we had a time limit in which we could deliver our message and it had to deliver a message of wisdom we have gained thus far in our lives.

If you are unfamiliar with the book and where it stemmed from, it was a lecture given during a lecture series by different professors and staff at Carnegie Mellon University.  This particular book focuses on the wisdom that Randy Pausch wanted to leave with his listeners because this would in fact be one of the last opportunities he would have to do so.  Randy Pausch passed away from cancer following the lecture and the publication of the book based on that lecture.

Because my background is in education and I LOVE school, I decided that my lecture would be based on the wisdom I gained in different subject areas of school.  When I delivered it a few days ago, the speech was about 15 min long and based on bulleted notes.  I decided that I would take the “lecture” that I gave and break it up between three blog entries so as to not bog you readers down with a lot of type and reading.  In this particular entry, I will be covering the subjects of Science and Math and the life lessons that I gained as I reflect back on the last 26 years of life.

*****

Last Lecture

The Things We Learn Inside and Outside of School

Science: It’s Important to dig deep and experiment

I really enjoyed Science in school.  I liked it until my first chemistry class and then my love for the subject became quite questionable.  Science was COOL!  Getting to do experiments regularly was something that I looked forward to almost daily when working with this subject.  I remember talking about properties of matter by creating an interesting substance called “Oobleck”, experimenting with heat and watching things blow up, and one of my favorites was when we suctioned an egg though the top of a bottle.

But what I loved most about science was that it was full of answers but there was always room for growth and error.  When we started digging into the scientific method, I loved it even more.  We were allowed to try something and change our minds if we wanted to based on the outcome.  We learned that there isn’t always one way to do something but sometimes there is a best way to do it.  And, much of this digging deep and experimenting didn’t only have to happen in the classroom.  It could happen in everyday life.

When I was old enough and brave enough to start cooking and following recipes, I got my fair share of experimenting with what works and what doesn’t.  I never understood why I could make something absolutely divine once and then it tastes awful the next time I made it.  Did I forget an ingredient? Was the oven set at the right temperature? Did I cook it long enough?  Did I use salt instead of sugar? These are all questions that I have asked myself at least once while cooking or trying to repeat foods.

As I matured and was able to self reflect, I began discovering what made me “tick”.  Sometimes I would wonder why some things would set me off when others wouldn’t.  Or how that one thing could drive me nuts at one moment but the next moment I could be oblivious to it.  Being in relationships with people and learning the anatomy of how that relationship functions is always fun.  Some friends really bring out the fun, exciting, creative side of me, while others may see a more pensive, subdued side.  Each relationship functions differently and what works in one may not work in another, but we have the room to try.

                       

Science has allowed me to grow in many ways.  I can experiment to see what works and what doesn’t.  I can stick to those things that I know work, but I also have grace room to make change.  I’ve learned that there isn’t always one right way (and my way isn’t always the right way when working with people although sometimes it might be the best way…just kidding!) 

Math: Use a pencil! You’re going to make mistakes!

Math has an EXACT outcome.  For example: 2+2 will always equal 4.  Always!  And where there was some wiggle room for error in science, there is very very little of that in math.  So, when I was in school, doing math in anything besides a pencil was off limits.

Pens in school were a novelty for a long time.  I was in fifth grade before we were allowed to start using them for anything else other than correcting or grading work.  The only subject that we weren’t ever allowed to use pen in was math.  I hated this.  I think I saw the pen as a sign of maturity and when we couldn’t use them for math I felt I was regressing back to “the days of being a child”.  Yes, I actually thought I was a grown up at the age of twelve.

Through junior high, we would lose points in grade if we used a pen instead of a pencil.  And even in high school, depending on the teacher, this rule was still in place.  I learned that this was because our teachers wanted us to show our work and if we messed up with pen it meant we had to scratch out our work, white it out and write over it, or start completely over.  If we were ever brave enough to turn in math homework with scratches and scribbles all over it, we could pretty much guarantee a grade reduction just for the sloppiness of our work.

I once had a teacher tell the class, “You didn’t give yourself the grace to make a change with pen so I’m not giving you grace in your grade.  Plus pen scratches just look sloppy and math is supposed to be neat…”  I then realized the gift of the pencil.  It allowed you to make the mistake in the subject of right and wrong.  You could always erase and start over with a pencil.

There are times I can think back to that I would have loved to have a pencil to erase and start over.  One such time was when I was in high school and had just gotten my driver’s license.  I was seeing a boy that my parents weren’t fond of so I rarely saw him outside of school.  I was also the kid in school that HATED getting in trouble so I never rebelled, but on this one occasion, I did.

(This is also my favorite story about my mother and I grew to appreciate her more and more after this happened)

I was going to a dance one weekend and I had told my parents that I would be picking up a girl friend and we would be going to the dance together.  They were okay with that arrangement and gave me a curfew for the night.  I left the house on a Saturday evening, picked up the friend, went to the dance, took the friend home, and went home soon after.  The next morning my mom came into my room and asked where I had been the night before.  I told her the chain of events listed above, she looked at me funny but then left my room.  This interrogation happened over the course of a few days and as each day went by I became more firm and permanent with my answer.

Finally my mother couldn’t stand it anymore and demanded that I tell her the truth because she knew there were some events I had left out of my story.  And, being the wise woman she is, she was right.  I had done all those things but after I was at the dance for all of five minutes, I drove to this boy’s house and spent the evening with him before picking my friend back up and going home.  I demanded for her to tell me how she knew.  Well… she used math.

She knew roughly how many miles it would take me to pick up my friend, get to the dance, drop her back off, and come home.  She had checked the odometer before I had left and then checked it the next morning and saw that I was about fifteen miles over her estimation.  BUSTED!  If I could have erased that whole lie, I would have.  It was the biggest one I had ever told and I felt awful.  The deeper I got into it and the more permanent it became, the harder it was for me to tell the truth.  I learned to tell the truth from the beginning knowing that sometimes the truth would hurt or not be the right answer, but I always had the grace to fix it if I needed to. 

                       

Math may be exact, but we are not.  It’s important to stay flexible and be willing to make mistakes.  Most of the time we can go back and correct those but it’s a lot harder to do if we permanently set our minds to something and it can also create for a messier situation.  Thank goodness for the day that I discovered the pens with the eraser. 

My Year in a Nutshell

Every three to four months, the staff that I work with is asked to write a report to the board of directors for our camping system.  In these reports, we are asked to give life updates—most of them pertaining to what we are doing in relation to our job descriptions.  But, they are genuinely interested in our personal lives and want to know what we are doing to keep ourselves happy and healthy outside of the work place.

It’s usually around this time of year that I take the most time to reflect.  Since I was in junior high, I marked my years in two different ways.  I kept track of time like most people based on the calendar year that starts in January.  But, I also mark a year of time right around now (the month of September).  There are multiple reasons for this.  Summer ending and moving into another school year was usually a big transition and I loved that my year always ended with going to camp but began with school.  For those that know me well, they know that these are two things in life that I LOVED!  Camp was a great way to end that time and school to begin another.  It also happens to be the month of my birthday, which also marks my years for me.  So, it seems to make sense to me that I would keep track of time in this way, also.

We have another board meeting approaching in October and in this report I usually include all the highlights from the summer but also the things that I’m looking forward to as we approach another camp year. (We also seem to count years by summers, so it is quite convenient for me and my preference of counting)  It is natural for me then to reflect not only on what has been happening with me professionally but also in my day to day life outside of my work so that I can make adjustments and look toward my hopes and dreams for the future.

In the words of a dear friend from high school, “A lot can happen in a year!”  And, as I take a jog down memory lane, these words ring true.

Around this time last year I had the opportunity to be apart of many new relationships.  I started dating a dear man that introduced me to a group of wonderful people.  As time went on and relationships grew, I began to wonder where I had been the past three years.  Until this time, many of my friendships were with people that I either saw on a daily basis at work or hardly at all due to distance.  I have been blessed to have gotten to know many of these friends over the course of the year and I’m hoping that those relationships continue to grow.

Over the next six months or so following that time, I got the chance to love someone in a way that I hadn’t in a long time and it felt good to let walls and guards down.  And although that relationship didn’t make it, there were so many things that I learned and got to experience during that time.  I discovered the wonders of a state I had never been to, go to my first big twelve football game, and I grew in ways that I didn’t know I could.  I saw compassion and care for others from this person almost on a daily basis and I was in awe of what it did for those around him.  I wanted to push myself to be more like this and over this past year, I have found myself taking more time to slow down and take in what is around me so that I can make others happier.

And following that time, I have jumped head first into being more active.  I have taken up running and swimming, and with some nudging from friends, I may invest in a road bike to round out my workout routine.  I have found joy in making my body work hard and I have seen results in more ways than one.  My body is becoming healthier and I am more and more happy with its appearance as the days go by.  But, what I am most proud of and excited about is that I am now able to do things that I would have laughed about a year ago.  I got lifeguard trained and certified for the first time at the age of twenty-six and just ran a distance race that was longer than a 5K.  A girlfriend of mine has somehow convinced me that I am ready to start training for my first half marathon that we are hoping to do in February, so training for that will begin shortly.

This summer was phenomenal! There are so many things that I could say about it that I’m worried if I start, I may not be able to finish.  Or, this blog will turn into something of a novel and I don’t want to bore readers much more than I already might.  But, I should share a few highlights because I giggle every time I think about them.

Highlight #1: Getting to work as a summer staff member during the weeks we were tight on staff.  It was a great hands-on experience and a reminder of why I love what I do!

Highlight #2: 8yr old camper weighing no more that 60lbs having a voice that boomed louder than any adult that I knew singing the “Taco Bell” song. 

            “Mmmm. Yeah. Burrito. Yeah!”

Highlight #3: Staff member at day camp during music rotation letting campers lead their favorite song for the group.  One camper chose “Sixties Party”.  The next few minutes played out as such…

Staff: “Ready so-and-so to lead that song?”

Camper: “Yep. It’s a sexy party in a sexy movie…”

Staff: “…Sixties party! Sixties party!”

Camper: “Oh yeah.  I’ll start over…It’s a sexy party in a sexy movie…”

Staff: “SIXTIES party.  How about I help you lead the song?”

Camper: “Awesome!  Thanks!”

Highlight #4: Getting to lead devotions for staff.  My favorites are when I got to read children’s books as a part of them.  (I think most staff secretly liked those the best, too because I have gotten quite a few Skippyjon Jones things since that time) 

Highlight #5: Getting to be a part of the crew to light fireworks for the campers during our 4^th of July celebration.  There is something really magical about seeing them explode directly above you.

And now, as the autumn and my favorite time of year approaches, I begin to make plans that take me into the future and help to develop new relationships that are forming.  So many great things have happened in the past twelve months and I can’t help but find myself getting nostalgic when I hear a certain song or visit a certain place with a specific group of people.  I look forward to creating new memories as this next year begins with relationships that are new and old, but with me I will carry all the fond moments of the past.  Here is to another great year!

Home

This summer I took the opportunity to take charge of our end-of-summer-staff-sending worship. (That is a mouth full!)  Part of the responsibility that I took on when putting this together was writing a sending message to give to the staff.  This typically isn't too hard for me to do.  I find a theme or situation that seems to apply, the right set of Bible verses that speak truth to that theme, and then go from there.

But, this week, as things were coming to a close, instead of writing the worship and the message, I found myself day dreaming about all the memories and experiences that made this summer unique to any other.  As yesterday drew closer the more and more stressed I became because although I had all these wonderful memories, it was hard for me to find a theme that seemed to fit all that I wanted to say.  It wasn't until I had a small conversation with a staff member that I knew what worship and the message would be about.

The following is the message that I wrote in the hours leading up to our closing.  It was hard, not because of the content and lack of creative juices, but because I knew this was going to be the farewell and the last thing I would be leaving with the staff before they left.

To Staff: This was an amazing summer and I pray to see your return many more times in the future!

*****

I’m going to throw out some words and I want you to tell me what all these words or group of words have in common…

…Homeroom

…Home plate

…Homing pigeons

…Home page

…Home town

…Home boys/girls

…Home land

…Homecoming

Responses I got: "HOME!" and of course "JESUS!" (Thanks Madison)

According to Webster’s Dictionary Online the word home is defined in several different ways but one of the first and closest to the top of the list is “the social unit formed by a family living together.” 

And of course, the next word I naturally needed to look up was the word “family”.  I was interested to see how Webster defined it because I have had the pleasure of conversing with a staff member off and on this week about family and what that means for us as people and as Christians.  According to one of the definitions provided, a family can be defined as “a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation”.

So by definition, this summer we have not only created a family, we have also created a home.

Each Friday this summer we heard the reading we heard earlier from Deuteronomy about Moses finally leading the Israelites to the Promised Land.  And each Friday, as we talked about what the Promised Land means for us, we explained how it isn’t camp but it’s the world outside of here and how we are called to share with others what that Promised Land means for us.  One part of the story that we didn’t touch on too much was how the Promised Land was to become the HOME of the Israelites-- a place where families could settle and people could be united and live in community by their common belief.   

One of the blessings of home is that, traditionally speaking, it is a place we can leave but always go back to.  If we look at the words that I listed off earlier, not only do they have the word “home” in common, but each of those words implies the idea that these are places or things that we can return to.  Homeroom is where we start each day in school.  Home plate is a place that a batter leaves to circle the bases and return to for that scored run.  Homing pigeons are let go only to return again.  Home pages are the screens on the computer that we can always return to and start over from when looking something up.  Home towns or lands are places that we are from that many of us will visit and go back to through out our lives.  Our home boys or home girls are the friends that we find the most comfort in and that we know we can always go to when needed.  And, homecoming is just that—coming home, wherever that is.

This summer, for nine weeks, you created a home for the campers that came to camp.  You created a place that was fun, safe, Christ-centered, and hopefully a place that many will want to return to.  Each week you formed a family within your cabin or bunkhouse groups, village, herd, family, or crew groups, and as a whole camp community.  You made the presence of God, who is at the center of that community, real for campers that we wanted to come together.

And, for eleven to twelve weeks, you have created a camp family and a home amongst yourselves.  This past week I as reading through some of the devotions that y’all wrote at the beginning of the summer and one of them stated that camp had become a “home away from home”—a place she could always return to knowing that she would be welcomed and loved.  This is something that you all create with the help of God.  The other directors and I can’t do this alone for you.  We came together as a community of believers and as a family to make a place for ourselves that we could find joy and comfort in.  And, you have created a place that many of you will hopefully return to. 

You will leave this summer with memories that you were all a part of and being the emotional sap that I am, I have walked around this past week playing the slide show of highlights through my head that started months ago at staff training.  I even surprised myself this past Sunday when I found myself crying as I was updating our Cross Trails Facebook page.  This was the first summer since I’ve been a camping professional that I was moved to tears as I was thinking about the summer coming to an end.  I know that this was a result of the relationships that were formed and the family that God called each of us to be a part of this summer.

Thank you for a summer full of love, laughter, and faith building.  I want to leave you with my current favorite song that plays over and over again in my head even after the IPod is turned off because it reminds me constantly of what we, with the help of God, have created these past few months. 

                                                                                                             

“Home” by Phillip Phillips  

"The Three Questions"

I love to read.  I’m not as avid about it as I’d like to be, but when I find the opportunity to sit down with a book I often find myself engulfed until the book’s completion.  Over the past few years, I have noticed that I have committed myself to reading more books that are compiled with short stories.  I have found that I enjoy the quick read and I don’t feel so guilty when I have to put the book down and don’t pick it up for weeks at a time.

Through out the summer, I have had the opportunity to meet so many different people and have had the pleasure of spending quality time with a good amount of them.  A few weeks ago, I got the chance to spend some great quality time with our new ranch camp director and in the short amount of time we had together; I felt she brought a breath of fresh air that I was in desperate need of.  We talked about life—past, present, and future and the hopes within each of these times.  One such topic was about our favorite reads and the want to share them with each other.  She has hopes to start a book club with a group of people once she settles in and I was all over that idea.  So after she left, I went home, feeling inspired to read and picked up one of my favorite books of short stories by Leo Tolstoy.

Of all the great stories, my favorite is “The Three Questions”.  In this story there is a king that has three questions that he wants to have answered—What is the best time to do each thing?  Who are the most important people to work with?  And, what is the most important thing to do at all times?  The king tries seeking advice from different people and in his quest to find the answers, a series of events happens that leads him to what he was hoping to find.

“Remember then that there is only one important time, and that time is now.  The most important one is always the one you are with.  And the most important thing is to do good for the one who is standing at your side.  For these are the answers to what is most important in this world.  This is why we are here.”

This story is always a great reminder of how I hope to lead my life.  Each person I encounter, and each person I have the pleasure of getting to know, is someone that has the ability to impact my life as much as I have the ability to do that for them.  And although I feel that the most important time is to be in the moment so as not to miss anything, the past and the future still define each of us.  There are lessons that have been learned and lessons to be learned.  And what I have found upon self reflection is that relationships are something that I cherish.  It’s important for me to try to give 110% in each one that I’m in whether it’s family, friends, romantic relationships, or new acquaintances.  

I often times struggle knowing that some relationships go by the wayside, but there is hope that the love and care that I was able to put in while I could will surpass our relationship and be shown toward others that they and myself encounter.  At the end of each day, I am thankful for the people that have been a blessing in my life and I pray for a future of many more relationships that I can grow and learn from.  But, until then…the most important time is now and the most important people are the ones that I’m surrounded by, and the most important thing to do is to love and care for those that are by my side.

Anticipation

"Oh the places you'll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you will do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all."
-Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!

I have always had a love for children and children's books, so when I have the opportunity, I love to be able to share with others stories that I adore so much. My audience as of late has been the 2012 summer staff and I have found that many of them have the same love for these stories as I do.

Each Sunday, I prepare the day camp teams that are leaving for the week with a devotion and prayer. Usually, the devotion is one that pertains to a certain topic in order to set them up for success during the week while I am away. This week I focused on anticipation and hope.

Skippyjon Jones by Judy Schachner has to be one of my favorite children's books of all time. So when I see an opportunity to use it as a teaching tool, I do! For those that have never read the story, it's about a Siamese cat that has a very vivid imagination. There are several books that chronicle his adventures but the original is my favorite. In this story he imagines that he is a chihuahua that is picked to save his friends from the awful Bumblebeeto Bandito who is out to steal their beans (his friends are beanie babies).

When I use this story to talk about hope and anticipation, I often read the story right up to the climax without finishing the rest of it. Often times the audience that is listening is so engulfed with what is about to happen that many of them sigh in disbelief that I'm not completing the story. This is where I get the opportunity to talk to them about the excitement, anticipation, and hope they are feeling at that moment.

As we head into our second half of the summer, staff are still excited for what is to come but they are also beginning to become tired. They put so much love and energy into what they are doing, we have to remind them to pace themselves and to rest and rejuvenate when they have the opportunity. For some this is easy and for others, a loving reminder of the hope of what is to come is enough to keep them excited and going.

Often times, these group devotions are as much for me as they are for the staff. The past two weeks of camp were the reminder that I needed to keep going. I had the opportunity to direct, rather than just oversee, our beach camp program as well as our onsite day camp program. And, being so hands on with the kids was something that refreshed me and gave me a joy that I hadn't felt in awhile. I love so much what I do, but when I find myself tired, often times the excitement and hope for what is to come wanes a bit. So, the weeks I got to direct helped me refocus and build that hope for the future.

God gives us time and he gives us talents and it's important to use these things to give others and ourselves hope for what is to come. I believe that God has called each staff member to be a part of our camp community this summer so we can go out and give hope to others. He has given us these "balls" to share and the "magical" things that staff are doing with them is not only making them winners but all those they encounter, as well.

As we head into our second half of the summer, I pray that God continues to give us the hope and anticipation that we need to continue touching the lives of all those we encounter. And, may our lives be touched through these encounters, as well.

Constant Change

There's a well known saying that states that people don't like change. And, for many this is true. We get comfortable in the day to day. We enjoy our morning cup of coffee and proceed with our day just as we had the day before. It's comfortable, it feels good, and great productivity often comes out of routine.

My life is full of routine and I often find comfort in the norm. However, lately I have been careful to pay more attention to the little things outside and within those routines and have found that even in the day to day happenings, things are constantly changing.

I made resolutions with myself this year that I had hoped would put me on some sort of track to an end goal. I promised myself that I would work harder and push my creativity when it came to my work but to also take time to myself to rest, read, and write--three things that I love. I, also, have become very stubborn about working out, eating more wisely, and growing out my hair. Upon reflection, what I found was that I promised myself that I would form good habits and good routines not really realizing that all these norms were going to spawn change.

Work has been more tiring but more rewarding, as of late. I have thrown myself into making things better than they were before and by constantly trying to stay focused, there have been greater/better outcomes. Curriculum has been enjoyable to write and relationships with people have grown.

My writing has picked back up and so has my reading. I picked up an old journal a few months ago that I had kept in high school and read through some of the entries. I was excited to read about the transformation that my life has taken as well as see the growth in my writing. So, I picked up where I left off and have written an entry almost daily for the past few months. I'm eager to see what I'll think of myself ten years down the road.

Thanks to Shaun T kicking my rear almost daily, my frame has gotten smaller and seemingly more fit. This fitness routine coupled with better eating habits seems to have caused my clothes to be worn a bit more loosely which is a very welcomed change. I've been excited to try on clothes from years ago to find that they are even fitting a bit larger.

And, the vow to be patient and let my hair grow out is beginning to pay off. It has grown past that awkward "I can't do anything with it" phase and has regained some natural curl and wave that was nonexistent when I had it chopped off last summer.

Small changes have been occurring as I was fighting to form habits and routine--changes that have been healthy and good for me. Our lives are full of comforts but it's also full of change that so often goes unembraced because we so desperately want the norm. Change has been good for me and it can very well be good for each of us. I look forward to the hope in the future--in the things that are constant and in the things that often seem at the time to turn our world upside down.

My Cup is Overflowing

Several days ago, I found myself walking the familiar trails and roads of camp with Ben, my dog and walking companion, noticing that something felt very different.  The feeling was odd, mostly because camp and its nooks and crannies, as well as all the spaces in between, had become just as familiar and comfortable as returning home to the house in which I grew up.  I couldn’t put my finger on what it was right away and I was puzzled by it for the duration of the walk. 

Nothing seemed out of place and the creation that surrounded me was calm and serene.  Definitely nothing out of the ordinary for an early morning walk before work.  Although feeling like something was different, I was calm and at peace. 

With our stroll coming to a close, I realized that this wasn’t a new feeling.  It was one that I had experienced in the past and a feeling I know that I will experience again in the future.  Time seemed to have come to a stand-still and in that single moment, every bit of my life made sense.  I felt whole.

The days, weeks, and months leading up to this moment had been so erratic, I had forgotten what it felt like to live in a single moment and to be conscious of every part of it.  And since that moment in which I had realized I was living as a glass half empty kind of person instead of half full, my cup began filling itself and now seems to be overflowing.

****

Training for our summer leadership staff began this past Sunday and it is one of my favorite times leading into our summer season.  Staff always arrives excited and full of anticipation for what is to come.  Little do they know upon their arrival that I am feeling much of those same emotions, but over the course of a few days, I think it becomes very apparent that we are all on the same page.  This is exciting for me and very fulfilling.  The moment that we are all in the same place, is the moment that greater trust is formed, relationships mature, and pride for one another grows. 

And, since Sunday, other staff members specializing in certain areas have begun to trickle in, adding to the excitement and enthusiasm that seems to engulf camp.  There have been some intense training already and I find myself observing and watching in admiration the staff that keep their jovial emotions at the forefront rather than letting themselves get overwhelmed by the material being presented to them.  They care to learn and care to share that knowledge with people they will encounter during the summer season and I couldn’t be happier to be a part of the community that is forming.

There’s still two more weeks of training to come, as well as the arrival of almost 40 staff members.  The excitement is building and my cup is continuing to overflow as I am surrounded by people that care so passionately about the same camp and ministry that I have loved for so long. 

As the summer approaches, my prayers are with staff that will soon be with us, the staff that are already with us, and the staffs of so many other camps that I have grown friendships with in the past few years--that they may be blessed with successful summers and the overwhelming feeling of passion for the service that they will be doing for so many this season.

May cups overflow this summer!

Devotion for Summer Staff

It has been way too long since my last post!  I want to try to stay true to my original goal of writing twice a month, so I'm hoping to pick up here, in this new month of May, and continue through the rest of the year.

Planning and preparing for the summer has consumed my life the past few months and now that it is almost to my doorstep, I'm looking forward to welcoming it with open arms.

One of my favorite parts about summer is being able to hand over all the hard work that the year-round staff has put in to the young and enthusiastic summer staff that are going to take what we've done, add their creativity, and make it so much better than we ever could have imagined it to be for the campers that they are going to work with.  Seeing the staff take ownership and loving what they do, makes my long days and sleepless nights worth it.  If this is what it feels like to be a parent sending their child off into the world, I can't wait for that to be a part of my life.  The pride of seeing young people interact with one another to make a difference is beyond what any words of pride and excitement could express.  I look forward to each summer's beginning, and each summer's end knowing that between those times, lives will be changed.

Included in this blog is a devotion that I wrote for our summer staff as they prepare their bodies, minds, and hearts for what is to come this summer.  Feel free to use it if you find that it applies somewhere in your life, too.

Devotion for Summer Staff

“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.  Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

            -Ephesians 4:1-2

There are times that I find myself reflecting on the glory days of college as if I had graduated years ago.  Then reality hits me and I realize that it was only a few years ago that I found myself walking down the aisle to receive my diploma.  There are a few things that I will always remember about being a student.  One of which was working at camp three of the four summers that I attend SHSU.  The other was my education college’s motto. 

“The measure of a life is its service”.  I remember contemplating this statement for the four years that I studied as an education major.  This was such a heavy set of words, and I wasn’t sure that I believed in it much less could live up to it.  Who are we to say how great or horrible someone is based on things that they do?  There are so many people that serve not because they want to but because they have to.  Where do they fall in a statement like this?  Then I realize that by asking such a question, I am judging as well.  I think I might feel better if the motto was “The measure of a life comes from service.”  At least this would imply that there are two sides to service and that both parties could or could not be benefiting from it.  All I know is that people around the globe revere service no matter what capacity it is done in.  We all know that service is two fold.  Those that serve with love impact the lives of those they come in contact with as well as themselves. 

The service that will be done this summer will impact so many people.  The love for this ministry and all that it represents will manifest itself in our actions this summer and we could not be more excited of what we will do.  Each summer, pastors and sponsors continually sing praises of the staff, saying that each summer’s staffing is better than the previous.  Evaluations from campers and their parents will also sing praises about us and many of them won’t be able to wait to have their child return.

The joy of the service that you will do is knowing that it will not only touch the lives of the people that we will meet but also those that we may never be able to.  A few summers ago, we received an email that contained a reflection of the staff’s service that summer by a pastor that was so impressed with camp he wrote a devotion based on it.  He was in awe of the camper response to this place at the end of the week and the days that followed.  In the devotion he states, “Annie STILL thinks she’s an ‘Orange Iguana’”.

Your life will not be measured and judged by the service that you will provide this summer, but your actions of love and compassion will greatly impact the lives of others.  We will help create a memorable summer for campers, parents, pastors and sponsors, as well as ourselves because through God’s grace we have been called to this place.  Blessings as you embark on this summer!

Good and Gracious God, we sing praises to you for calling us to do your will this summer.  Thank you so much for being a guiding presence in our lives and we pray that you continue to make your presence known to us.  Mold us into the servants you have called us to be this summer.  Amen.

2012: New year...New Challenge

The New Year is always an exciting time for me.  I, like most people, take the last few weeks of December to reflect upon the year and look for healthy and positive adjustments for the upcoming twelve months.  Many of us refer to these changes as our New Year’s resolutions, but I tend to refer to them as my “challenge(s) for the year”.

Two years ago, I decided to see what it was like to be a pescatarian for a year.  When I told fellow coworkers, family, and friends that I had made it my goal to eat no meat other than what comes from water sources i.e. fish, shrimp, etc., they couldn’t wrap their head around why I would do such a thing.  To be honest, I wasn’t really sure why I had decided to do this, either. 

Coming from a small town in Texas, it was almost unheard of for someone to be a vegetarian or anything of the like unless it was for special circumstances.  I really hadn’t been exposed to this lifestyle until my first summer as a summer staff member at a camp.  Working on a summer camp staff since 2005, I have met many young people that have dedicated their lives to this style of eating.  I didn’t get it.  Over the years, I have found that each person had their own reason behind their diet and for the year 2010 I decided to come up with my own reason to cut most meats from my diet—I needed a challenge.

I was successful but it wasn’t without a few almost mishaps.  Who knew you couldn’t eat all vegetable soups?!  The year 2011 rolled around and a good friend/neighbor took it upon himself to welcome me into the New Year with my first piece of meat.  That bacon was delicious…until it made me sick.  A word to the wise: If you take meat out of your diet, SLOWLY incorporate it back in.

Last year, I decided to say, “See ya later” to sodas.  This one wasn’t nearly as tricky as the year before.  However, I found it much harder to do than I had expected.  The cravings for a ginger ale or Fresca began to subside as the months went by and I was able to check this challenge off as a success for the year of 2011.  Since the beginning of this year, I have had one or two sodas to satisfy the craving, and I have found that it hasn’t been hard to say no to it most days.

As December rolled around, I began thinking of all the possibilities of new challenges that I could take on for the upcoming year.  I decided, instead of taking something out of my daily life, I would add something to it.  I have known people to take on a discipline during the season of Lent rather than to give something up and I thought that I would apply that concept to my life as I headed into the next 365ish days.

I began this blog at the end of last year and I always appreciate it when the blogs that I read stay current.  So, to those that read this, I have committed to trying to write at least twice a month.  Like I said in my first entry, I have always loved writing.  But, I have found that it takes true discipline to sit down and actually do it.  Thus, this is the challenge I have decided to take on.

And, just like most people that make resolutions, I still felt the need to do something good for my body, not just my mind.  I have a gym membership already, but I can’t always find the time to go regularly.  Working out makes me a much happier person.  So, I decided that I needed to find something that I could do almost daily and that I would feel guilty about it if I didn’t do it.  Let’s face it, people buy gym memberships hoping that the money they put in will be the incentive to keep them going. 

I dropped the big bucks and bought my first infomercial work out system.  Here is the time to laugh at me.  I never thought I would be a person to do such a thing, but I really want that gray Insanity t-shirt at the end of the sixty days ;-).  Honestly, I don’t really care to have the shirt but I have gotten the dvd’s, calendar of work out’s, and nutrition plan in the mail and for the past week, I have dedicated about an hour to each work out.  I have gone through pain, sweat, soreness, and maybe a few tears, but I have found that it is a regimen that I really enjoy.  For those of you that don’t know what the Insanity work out is… think back to your toughest day in high school athletics or gym class and then multiply that by however hard unimaginable is.  For me this number is about a ten.  Thanks Shaun T for kicking my butt but getting it into shape, as well.

I’ll have to keep you all updated on this year’s challenges.  And to all those that have made a resolution, stick to it!!  I have found that it feels extremely rewarding as the last few days of the year are upon you.        

Epiphany

Epiphany

3 a (1): a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2) : an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3) : an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure

-Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary

Tis the season to continue being jolly. 

January sixth was the first day of Epiphany.  In many Christian churches, this is the day that Jesus is revealed to the world through the visit of the three wise men and it is a great cause for celebration.  January sixth also happened to be the last day of our summer staff reunion.

The program staff was blessed to be joined and supported by a fellow staff member who also serves as a pastor.  She was asked if she would be willing to hang around for discernment time for the summer staff as well as be willing to lead the group in worship, daily.  She took this task and ran with it and the program staff couldn’t be more thankful.  She focused on Epiphany—the season in the church as well as the day to day ways that God continually reveals himself to people.

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Since the beginning of December, I have been blessed with quite a bit of time off.  I spent most of this time traveling and experiencing new places and people—two things that I absolutely love.  I had a conversation with someone recently and they asked if I would be willing to ever take a “desk job”.  I said I definitely would as long as my desk came with a phone.

In the time that I spent traveling, I had the blessing of meeting people from all places of the world as well as all walks of life. 

Earlier in December, I joined a friend on a cruise.  This was my first time on a traveling ship and I didn’t know what to expect so in the days leading up to our departure, I really depended on him to make me knowledgeable of all that I needed to know while on that adventure.  Once we boarded the ship and finally set sail, I had the opportunity to explore the ship and find opportunities to be social.  My first opportunity came the first night on the ship when we sat down for dinner. 

I had been assigned to a table that was able to seat ten and the table ended up hosting three different parties of people for a total of nine of us.  We each came from a different place and we each had a story to tell.  One group was a family from Houston.  It was a group of four but they were representing three generations of their family.  There was a group of three from Kansas City who were retired and enjoying their time away from the hustle and bustle of their former work.  And, my friend and I completed the group—two, twenty-somethings looking to strengthen a friendship.

Each night we sat together and recapped our happenings from the day and each night we continued to grow and strengthen relationships with one another—strangers.  There was a night toward the end of the trip that the family from Houston did not join us and we spent at least fifteen minutes wondering if they were okay, if their day had been pleasant, and if they would be joining us for the rest of the week.  We did find out later that the youngest member of their family (3 yrs old) had too exciting of a day and had gone to bed much earlier that evening.  But, it was in that fifteen minutes that I realized that our relationships had grown so much to wonder and concern ourselves with the well being of people we had met only days earlier.  It was also later that evening that I had an opportunity to hang out with the Kansas City group outside of our regularly scheduled dinner time.  They shared the joys of the Midwest with me and were excited to hear that I would be visiting Kansas in the following weeks.

I got to see some remarkable places and experience things that I had never done before, i.e. holding a lion cub, but the things that I took away most from that trip were the relationships that were formed in a seven day period of time.  It took me back to the days of when I was away for a week at camp and formed relationships with people that I still keep near and dear to my heart.

Weeks later, I got to go home to Bay City and spend time with my family.  It was the first time I had been home in almost a year and it was actually hard to be there.  This was the first Christmas that my brother wasn’t a part of our family gathering.  It hurt and it was weird to be there without him.  As we have gotten older, our relationship has grown and there is a great love and appreciation for one another, so to not have him there was a struggle for all of us. 

And, about a week after that, I had my first opportunity to visit the state of Kansas.  Since September, I had heard all the joys and wonders of the heartland and I was looking forward to experiencing it myself.  Upon my arrival to the state, I made a stop in Wichita for lunch and a break from driving.  I found a Subway, ordered a sandwich and sat down at a table alone.  About two bites into my sandwich and with my mouth full, I was approached by two young boys about the age of ten.  They both looked at each other and then back at me and in unison said, “You’re beautiful.”  And, then as quickly as they came, they walked away.  I barely had a chance to swallow my food and squeak out a “thank you” before I realized what had just happened.

One sandwich, a wonderful compliment, and about an hour later, I arrived at my destination.  I had the opportunity to experience the flint hills of Kansas and see some of the state’s true beauty—land and relationships.  In the short time that I was there, I was greeted with a stranger’s compliment, open arms from a family, laughter and smiles from friends that had only heard about me, wags and kisses from a few camp pups, and some of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen.  It is really hard to explain how at home I felt in a place that I had never previously been to.  I can only attribute that feeling to the relationships and friendships that were introduced and strengthened while I was there. 

When I returned to camp and had the opportunity to join in with the worship times, the past month played over and over in my head as we talked about epiphany and how God continues to reveal himself to us daily.  It was in an epiphany or “ah ha” moment that I realized that God continually shows himself to me through the relationships I have with people.  It’s through the love that we share that I see and feel his presence.  As a sinful being, I am not capable of loving those around me with as much vigor as I do without the presence of God.

I am thankful daily that I live the life that I do.  I pray that I can continue to see God on cruise vacations, family gatherings, and expeditions to new places.  Tis the season to continue being jolly!